How to Teach Honesty to Kids

For most parents with growing up kids, raising an honest child might be an arduous and a challenging responsibility. Given the vast and strong media influence that sometimes edify distorted moral values, parents nowadays find it hard to inculcate in the young minds of their kids the value of honesty. But according to Mary Vanclay in her article entitled “The Honest Child: How to Teach Honesty”, there are helpful tips parents can do to teach their child the importance of telling the truth.

AVOID LABELS. Parents out of anger unintentionally say unpleasant words to their kids. They failed to realize that kids live up to the labels we place upon them. Call them a liar and overtime they may start to believe in and live up to the label. Parents should tame their tongue not to label their kids to the person they don’t want them to be.

DON’T GIVE YOUR KIDS AN OPPORTUNITY TO LIE. Avoid asking questions when you already know the answer. If you’re quite sure your child hasn’t cleaned her room, instead of asking, “Did you clean the room?, it would be better to ask her the reason why she wasn’t able to clean her room. Asking the “why” question allows your child to explain his behavior rather than setting a stage for a lie.

FIND THE REASON BEHIND THE LYING. “Children can learn to be dishonest out of fear for the consequences of their actions or by following the examples of others.”,says Dr. Harold Sala, author of the book, Raising Godly Kids. Enough good reasons why your child deserves to be heard. An open and free communication with your child about the reason why she lied would create a loving atmosphere. Stressing to your child your disapproval of her not telling the truth but still assuring your unconditional love and acceptance will surely encourage her to be honest with you no matter what the consequences may be. One good way to encourage honesty is to praise or reward your child if she tells the truth.

KEEP YOUR COOL. "Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?" says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline book series. "Most punishment comes out of anger — and then we’ve taken the child totally out of any learning mode, because now she’s feeling defensive or afraid."

SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. Parents should model honesty to their children. As they say, the best way to teach honesty is to be honest. Parents should be extra careful not to say a lie especially if their children are around. A simple scenario if she hears you call in sick for work when you’re fine or lie about her age so you can avail of a discount on her fare ticket would send her a message that it is acceptable to say a lie.

Honesty does have a price, and it’s worth paying it now.