Sunday, May 15, 2011

How to Teach Honesty to Kids


For most parents with growing up kids, raising an honest child might be an arduous and a challenging responsibility. Given the vast and strong media influence that sometimes edify distorted moral values, parents nowadays find it hard to inculcate in the young minds of their kids the value of honesty. But according to Mary Vanclay in her article entitled “The Honest Child: How to Teach Honesty”, there are helpful tips parents can do to teach their child the importance of telling the truth.

AVOID LABELS. Parents out of anger unintentionally say unpleasant words to their kids. They failed to realize that kids live up to the labels we place upon them. Call them a liar and overtime they may start to believe in and live up to the label. Parents should tame their tongue not to label their kids to the person they don’t want them to be.

DON’T GIVE YOUR KIDS AN OPPORTUNITY TO LIE. Avoid asking questions when you already know the answer. If you’re quite sure your child hasn’t cleaned her room, instead of asking, “Did you clean the room?, it would be better to ask her the reason why she wasn’t able to clean her room. Asking the “why” question allows your child to explain his behavior rather than setting a stage for a lie.

FIND THE REASON BEHIND THE LYING. “Children can learn to be dishonest out of fear for the consequences of their actions or by following the examples of others.”,says Dr. Harold Sala, author of the book, Raising Godly Kids. Enough good reasons why your child deserves to be heard. An open and free communication with your child about the reason why she lied would create a loving atmosphere. Stressing to your child your disapproval of her not telling the truth but still assuring your unconditional love and acceptance will surely encourage her to be honest with you no matter what the consequences may be. One good way to encourage honesty is to praise or reward your child if she tells the truth.

KEEP YOUR COOL. "Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?" says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline book series. "Most punishment comes out of anger — and then we’ve taken the child totally out of any learning mode, because now she’s feeling defensive or afraid."

SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. Parents should model honesty to their children. As they say, the best way to teach honesty is to be honest. Parents should be extra careful not to say a lie especially if their children are around. A simple scenario if she hears you call in sick for work when you’re fine or lie about her age so you can avail of a discount on her fare ticket would send her a message that it is acceptable to say a lie.

Honesty does have a price, and it’s worth paying it now.

Life's An Amazing Race




“Congratulations, you’re team No. 1, you’re the first team to arrive.”

If you’re a certified reality show fanatic, you can easily recognize those familiar words of Phil Keoghan, host of the hit reality show AMAZING RACE. He usually utters those words, every time the first team arrives at the pit stop of each leg of the race.

The AMAZING RACE is just one of the many foreign reality television game shows invading our local television scene . It is a game show produced by CBS in the US in which teams of two race around the world in competition with other teams.Contestants strive to arrive first at the end of each leg to avoid the possibility of elimination. Unfortunately, in an elimination race, the last pair to arrive gets eliminated. Teams are progressively eliminated until three teams are left. At that point, the team who arrives first in the final leg wins the much-coveted one million dollar prize.

As a contest mechanic, the contestants will travel to different countries and various continents until they will reach the final destination – the final pit stop- which is the culmination of the entire race . At the initial race, they will be given initial directions on the first place to go to get the next clue. In order to reach the destination, the team will travel or drive by themselves, relying only on the information they can get from the travel map, clues and directions and some by asking information from the folks living in the area. Route markers also serves as helpful hints for them to reach the exact destination. But along the way, the race doesn’t guarantee an easy journey. Aside from the difficulty of reaching the exact spot, there are physically-demanding tasks that should be accomplished in order to be handed a clue for the next destination. These tasks come in the form of DETOUR, ROADBLOCKS,YIELD AND FASTFORWARD.


A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. Teams must successfully complete one of the tasks described on the clue in order to receive their next clue.


A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. Before heading into a Roadblock, teams read a vague clue about the task to come, e.g., "Who’s really hungry?" (for an ostrich-egg eating challenge), or "Who wants to get down and dirty?" (for a task involving making mud bricks).


Yield allows any one team to force another team to stop racing for a predetermined amount of time.


The Fast Forward allows the team that receives it to skip all remaining tasks on that leg of the race and proceed directly to the Pit Stop.

Admittedly, I first ignored the show when it was shown over a local channel. I find it senseless for cameras to follow infamous personalities who keeps on running and running as if there’s no tomorrow. It was only when I am able to sit down and started watching the show from start to end that I am able to appreciate the excitement that it can entice to its would-be viewers. I began to feel the thrill of watching teams compete with each other, outsmarting each other by courageously doing each tasks, racing as they hurtle with time, and even doing dirty tricks just to be the first team to land on the pit stop mat.

But I realized that aside from the excitement it can bring, the show offers a clear picture of our daily complexities in life. That looking in a deeper light, the show conveys similarities to our journey in this temporal world towards a destination.

One AMAZING RACE episode that I can still remember is that when a couple decided to give up their backpack so they can run fast and land first at the pit stop. Those extra baggages in their back hamper them from running as fast as they can to win the race. The symbolic giving up of backpack could mean giving up material things for a higher gain. Giving up things for a nobler purpose. I’m sure letting go of these things isn’t easy but it’s the only and the surest way not to be left behind and win the race.

Majority of us in this modern and hedonistic world, are pack rats who like to collect and transport stuffs. In our journey in life we tend to bring extra baggages that will make our journey tedious and tiring, uncomfortable, complicated and less enjoyable. We are overshadowed by the importance that it can provide us that we always brought them along wherever we go. These extra baggages come in different forms and sizes. It could be unfulfilled dreams and desires, failed relationships, shameful and dark past, unreconciled relationships, strong materialistic pursuits, greed for fame and power, fear, unresolved guilt, strong need for approval. The list is endless. What most of us failed to realize is that those extra weight could deter us from winning our race in life.

Relating to life, DETOURS are life crossroads. Situations wherein we are torn between a decision and options. Difficult moments to decide what in our life are worth letting go and worth keeping. An inspiration I browsed from www.authenticity-road.com states that life is a highway with roads which can be maddeningly circuitous, boringly linear, painfully narrow, amazingly wide, sadly short, or, interminably long. In life, there are several pathways laid before us that we find it difficult and confusing to decide what path to take. Due to uncertainty of our decisions, there is an accompanying risk in possibly making the wrong choice.

ROADBLOCKS are life situations that will test our independence and our courage to let go of our co-dependency and attachments – our attachment to people, materials things and places. One unforgettable roadblock task I watched happened in India that required the African American wife to give up her hair in exchange of a clue. Giving up her crowning glory is hard for the woman but she decided to let go of her attachment because that’s the only way to continue the race. The hapless husband was brought to tears. In the end, the sacrifice is worth the effort because they won the race. This is probably what author Mike Murdock refers as “experiencing a season of pain to create an eternity of gain.”

YIELDS comes in the forms of difficult people who will pull us down. In our life, there will always be negative people who will pissed us off and make our life miserable. These people will be an inevitable part of our journey so its just in the manner of how we handle them that lie the challenge. According to Donna Beal, “Difficult people are God’s sandpaper to smooth out the rough edges of our personalities.”

FASTFORWARD are life’s unexpected blessings and surprises. They comes in the forms of life’s extra comfort and convenience and answered prayers. Situations that will give us reason to look up to heaven and say “Thank you, Lord.”

God intended each one of us to enjoy our journey. He wanted us to travel light so we won’t be having difficulty carrying our backpack. He desires us all to enjoy every moment of our journey by journeying with Him and allowing Him to direct us to the right path. One beautiful promise can be found in Jn 8:12 when He said, “I am the Light of the World, anyone who follows Me will not walk in the dark; he will have the light of life.” He gives us DIRECTIONS for us to reach our destinations. In the Bible, Jesus said, “I am the Way, The Truth and The Life” (Jn 14:16). He wants us to recognize Him in the face of ordinary people because He is with us in our daily walk.

But due to our human frailties, we tend to run so fast that we miss the joy that goes with our journey. We are so preoccupied with the daily hustle and bustle of living, we hurtle with time as if life is a race and there will be no tomorrow. Even though God sent us clear directions by giving us signs, maps and route markers, still we stumble in choosing the wrong path. The enjoyable walk in our journey becomes a race always battling with time. Worst of all, like the disciples in the Road to Emmaus, we didn’t notice God walking with us. We only notice Him when we fall.

Brothers and sisters, our Catholic faith dictates that our life on this earth is a temporary journey and that we are only stewards of our life. Even though in this life, we all travel in different paths, follow different directions and embark on different journeys, in the end, we are heading towards one destination – our eternal home. Let us allow Jesus to direct us towards the right path. Let us allow Him to be our tour guide and open our hearts for Him to be our sole travel companion. After all, in the end, what matters when we came face to face with our Heavenly Father is for Him to smile at us and say, “Congratulations, my son, you’ve ran a good race.”

New Beginnings

At 32, I must have thought I've learned a lot from life.

Borrowing the concept from writer Bum Tenorio, Jr., in my silence, I interviewed myself and culled 32 simple or not-so-simple things I learned about life.

1. Being born unfortunate is not a license to an unfortunate future. It doesn’t matter who you are today, what matters is who you will become tomorrow.

2. People tend to ask themselves why they failed in an endeavor not realizing they failed not in the execution but in planning.

3. Say “10Q” even if the situation doesn’t requires you to say so.

4. Write down your life greatest dreams and aspirations and read it as often as you can.

5. The purpose of our existence is not merely existing but to live our existence. Our actions, plans, and decisions should revolve around that purpose.

6. Respect your spouse - it is one of the proven secret formula of a lasting married life.

7. Keep your passions burning. Winners are people who desperately pursue what they badly want.

8. Take a daily dose of prayer. Prayer in absolute trust and surrender sweeps out anxieties, worries, fears and doubts. Above all, it gives peace the world can't give.

9. Believe in God’s mighty hands working in your life. If things get wrong, believe that all things pass through His gentle hands. God writes straight through crooked lines.

10. Smile, smile and smile. It is the secret of a lasting youthful glow.

11. Difficult people are inevitable part of your life. You cannot avoid them but you can choose to love them.

12. Build your life on solid ground. Your good values, morals and sound principles are the strong foundations of your life.

13. Good things will come to those who wait. Patience is a virtue.

14. Hug your loved ones and say “I love you” as often as you can. Tomorrow might be too late.

15. Call each person by his or her name. It is one of the commandments of human relations.

16. Be genuinely interested in people - even if they aren’t interesting enough.

17. Take charge of your own life because nobody else will.

18. Enjoy your journey in this race called life. Take Jesus as your travel companion.

19. Laugh and laugh as often as you can.

20. Focus on the positive side of life. Be an optimist. You are far more blessed than anyone.

21. Forget all the hurts people have caused you but dwell on the good things they’ve done.

22. Your earning capacity is dependent on your self-image. Start expanding your psychological wallet. God desires you to be financially blessed so you can be a blessing to others.

23. During difficult decision moments, let go and let God.

24. All addictions - drugs, alcohol, material or sexual is a manifestation of a psychological hunger for love.

25. Don’t be afraid to try. Trying isn’t always associated with failing.

26. “Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we are raging inside, we always have a choice. My friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It’s the choice that makes us who we are, and we can choose to do what is right.” (as quoted from the movie “SPIDERMAN 3″)

27. Hopeless and desperate situations aren’t forever. There will always be a way out. All sufferings and hardships will come to an end.

28. Happiness is relative on one’s perspective on it. A person with a single centavo can be happier compared to a man with a million dollar bucks.

29. Business people are sharks. In order to survive in the highly competitive corporate world, you have to swim with the sharks.

30. Married life isn't a walk in the park. You have to talk while you walk to get there.

31. The greatest gift a man can have is the gift of being a father.

32. Happiness is always a choice.